
First and foremost i
will start with a quote by Barnett R. Brickner
“Success
in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through
being the right mate.” – Barnett R. Brickner
Let
me introduce to you a movie titled "WAR ROOM", there are many
lessons to learn from this very movie. This movie let us know that irrespective
of the situation in the home, it mustn't cause any form of havoc.
For the purpose of those who doesn't have enough time to read this write up, please kindly find time and come back to read, because its an experience from different important personnel and dignity people.
Wise
couples realize that a nice home, car, or retirement account may appear nice to
have, but they do not make a successful marriage. They understand that there
are far more important principles at play. As a result, they have learned to
invest their money, energy, and time into the 8 essentials of a healthy
marriage:
Here
we go:
1. Love/Commitment
At
its core, love is a decision to be committed to another person. It is far more
than a fleeting emotion as portrayed on television, the big screen, and romance
novels. Feelings come and go, but a true decision to be committed lasts forever
– and that is what defines true love. It is a decision to be committed through
the ups and the downs, the good and the bad. When things are going well,
commitment is easy. But true love is displayed by remaining committed even
through the trials of life.
2. Sexual Faithfulness
Sexual
faithfulness in marriage includes more than just our bodies. It also includes
our eyes, mind, heart, and soul. When we devote our minds to sexual fantasies
about another person, we sacrifice sexual faithfulness to our spouse. When we
offer moments of emotional intimacies to another, we sacrifice sexual
faithfulness to our spouse. Guard your sexuality daily and devote it entirely
to your spouse. Sexual faithfulness requires self-discipline and an awareness
of the consequences. Refuse to put anything in front of your eyes, body, or
heart that would compromise your faithfulness.
3. Humility
We
all have weaknesses and relationships always reveal these faults quicker than
anything else on earth. An essential building block of a healthy marriage is
the ability to admit that you are not perfect, that you will make mistakes, and
that you will need forgiveness. Holding an attitude of superiority over your
partner will bring about resentment and will prevent your relationship from
moving forward. If you struggle in this area, grab a pencil and quickly write
down three things that your partner does better than you – that simple exercise
should help you stay humble. Repeat as often as necessary.
4. Patience/Forgiveness
Because
no one is perfect (see #3), patience and forgiveness will always be required in
a marriage relationship. Successful marriage partners learn to show unending
patience and forgiveness to their partner. They humbly admit their own faults
and do not expect perfection from their partner. They do not bring up past
errors in an effort to hold their partner hostage. And they do not seek to make
amends or get revenge when mistakes occur. If you are holding onto a past hurt
from your partner, forgive him or her. It will set your heart and relationship
free.
5. Time
Relationships
don’t work without time investment. Never have, never will. Any successful
relationship requires intentional, quality time together. And quality time
rarely happens when quantity time is absent. The relationship with your spouse
should be the most intimate and deep relationship you have. Therefore, it is
going to require more time than any other relationship. If possible, set aside
time each day for your spouse. And a date-night once in awhile wouldn’t hurt
either.
6. Honesty and Trust
Honesty
and trust become the foundation for everything healthy in a marriage. But
unlike most of the other essentials on this list, trust takes time. You can
become selfless, committed, or patient in a moment, but trust always takes time.
Trust is only built after weeks, months, and years of being who you say you are
and doing what you say you’ll do. It takes time, so start now… and if you need
to rebuild trust in your relationship, you’ll need to work even harder.
7. Communication
Successful
marriage partners communicate as much as possible. They certainly discuss kids’
schedules, grocery lists, and utility bills. But they don’t stop there. They
also communicate hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties. They don’t just discuss
the changes that are taking place in the kid’s life, they also discuss the
changes that are taking place in their own hearts and souls. This essential key
cannot be overlooked because honest, forthright communication becomes the
foundation for so many other things on this list: commitment, patience, and
trust… just to name a few.
8. Selflessness
Although
it will never show up on any survey, more marriages are broken up by
selfishness than any other reason. Surveys blame it on finances, lack of
commitment, infidelity, or incompatibility, but the root cause for most of
these reasons is selfishness. A selfish person is committed only to himself or
herself, shows little patience, and never learns how to be a successful spouse.
Give your hopes, dreams, and life to your partner. And begin to live life
together.
This
is a simple call to value our marriages, treat them with great care, and invest
into them daily. Accomplishing the items listed above will always require
nearly every bit of yourself… but it so worth it. After all, a successful
marriage is far more valuable than most of temporal things we chase after with
our lives. And will always last longer.
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